I need to stop coming to work sober
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
