and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
