Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
