so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
