5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
