There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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