There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
