glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I met the friendliest cop last night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
