She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
