I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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