How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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