you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She's JV to your varsity
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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