Where did you get a picture of my penis
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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