just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
