What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
