you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
