You're my little dorito
The maid of honor just puked.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
