hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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