just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
