I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
