shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
