Don't you send me to vm
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
