just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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