In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
