i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
