she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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