dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
