do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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