Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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