never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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