WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
