i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize