If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize