Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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