I got chris browned last night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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