i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
