he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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