Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
