K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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