Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Bring me that man meat
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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