Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
