I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
