i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
