you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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