I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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