ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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