Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
