is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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