then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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