he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
