dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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